Bent Palm BLVD

Bent palm blvds protagonist is one Grouper Kitch, formerly (REDACTED), a lonely, depressed quartergod living in an increasingly expesnive part of southern florida, who ends up being pulled into a cult called ECA, lead by a rotting god and ran out of the afterlife/internet, due to a combonation of him searching for his presumed dead grandfather (and only god in his family) and the discovery of Henry, who in spite of him being entirely human, is rendered immortal due to reasons no one is particularly sure of the why and how off. The one thing that does matter is that the titular cult is doesnt particularly enjoy him being found. Both parties are assisted by expert soul surfer (A sort of coder specilized in removing vandalism done by spirits) named Angler, and Pelican, her Cyborg lover/former business partner, as well as lobster, a bizzare headless ghost thats been crashing on groupers couch for the past few months

Another thing worth noting is that this will unfortionately not have any chapters posted yet cuz due to it being one of my first writing projects, the writing quality of the first couple chapters leaves much to be desired, as well as the fact that instead of trying to actually work through the more boring bits, I just deadass left chapter long gaps in the story. Thanks 2023 me. really fucking appreciate it. so until i can get the current chapter done and those little kinks sorted out, only then will you be able to read my pretty okay writing lol.

Henry

Henry (He/him) in spite of everything, should be a normal human being. He was born in san diego, 1988, and worked as the backup singer for some surf punk band, whatever that may mean. due to circumstances out of his control, he has found himself 20 years back in time in another universe, and half dead yet unable to die. In spite of this, he remains as superficially calm as he possibly can, mostly due to him approaching everyone and everything like one does a clearly aggravated chimp. hes never made eye contact with anyone since he got here, and hes not planning to. Other than that, hes an absolutely shit cook, one part due to him just, fucking eat anything. He drank coffee someone pissed in once and thought it tasted good. He tells that story as a point of pride too. Fuckers weird

angler

angler (Oh okay, That makes sense, she/her then), often stylized in all lowercase, is a transfem vagabond who lives primarily off of freelance work. Being the most knowledgeable about spirits out of everyone else in the group (hell, even the actual spirit is pretty much clueless) She serves as a sort of tour guide through most of the internet (or as she, and pretty much everyone else calls it, windowland). Shes the most stable out of everyone in the group, or at least the one with the best paying job. In spite of her difficulty with socializing with pretty much anyone face to face, Shes got a good, if dry sense of humor, and speaks a conslang called "techjabber" a fake langauge modeled after sci-fi jargon, which she breaks out whenever anyone asks her a dumb question about her job or skillset, getting a kick out of explaining very simple things in superficially complex ways. She has a strained, though still functional relationship with the rest of the group (with the sole exeption of Pelican), one part due to the afformentioned difficulties socializing, two parts due to her patience being completely worn down by people calling computer viruses "ghost attacks" or some shit, and then calling her a slur when she tells them that not how that works and that they probably need to call someone else. The last part is due to her not really appreciating being chased by fucking robots.

Grouper

Grouper (Oh uh, like, the guy ones) Is an exhausted 28 year trans man old living in Gater west, florida, A place somewhere between town and city located on the very tip of florida. He rarely, if ever, leaves his house for reasons other than work or grocieries, and spends most of his very minimal time either watching televison or surfing the web on a computer assembled by lobster. A majority of his immediate family is dead, one part due to the health complications of being a quarter god, or from miscellaneous tragedies. Thankfully, and miraculusly, grouper has managed to survive far futher into adulthood than any of his 3 siblings, all of which had died anywhere from almost a year after being born or roughly a couple years into teenhood, mostly due to his deforminity beingthe relatively benign condition of backwards backwards knees. Beyond the mental health issues caused by having majority of your family die or abadon you, hes managed to make a temporarily decent (at least until rent goes up again) living for himself as a fry cook for half dead chain resturant called "for the soul", which is by all means set to shut down by 2006. Thankfully, this is only really a problem if his manager doesnt fire him for calling out sick.

Pelican

Pelican (yeah, I get it, but, like, why do you need to know that? If you have to, she/her) is a transbian cyborg and anglers lover. Shes by far the most materially smart (hell, shes the only one to have an actual degree) and chipper, with her mostly wanting to make the most of her life hedonisticly. She also works a very, very unstable job as a mechicanic, mostly to fuel said lifestyle. Shes by far the most willing to do this entire thing, partially due to her previously dying and subsaquently losing all fear of it, or the fact that her girlfriend promised her a cut of the pay. The only remaining human parts of her are her skin and bones, with the rest of it being given away with the promise for another chance at life. Shes sort of a mouthpeice for angler in person to person business, and is the only one in the party who also understands techjabber, but she doesnt bother translating it, since she also thinks its funny.

Lobster

Lobster (I don't fucking care what you call me) is a landspirit (soul capable of surviving outside of the internet) made of oil, wrapped around his old bones. He's in possesion of several thousands dollars of cash, which they suspect is from [sic] "doin' some...real shit... real bad shit...". They're completely bored and disintrested most of the time, and spends this massive pile of money on either random nonsense (hell, grouper and them have gotten into tons of arguments over him buying random crap) or putting it into nonsense they think would be "stimulating". Hes currently crashing at groupers apartment, due to him being one of the last things theyre able to recall. They also used to have an actual head, the skull of a god/old lover, before it was ripped out and shattered by loach

Loach

Loach (thats some gay shit) is an old high school bully of grouper, and hasnt seemed to have grown passed that. Hes a full time member of the "eighties commercial archive" or ECA (pronounced like Eh-cah) and one of the highest ranking of the groups grunts. Hes functionally been lobotimized, with at least half of his brain being either removed or irreportably altered. In spite of this, he still gets a kick out of tormenting people, to the point of him putting it above any actual objectives hes been given.Hell, this is the whole reason he was pulled into this case, with his job being to track down and kill grouper and henry, as well as anyone else who might know about what henry is. hes compleely clueless to the true nature of the organization, viewing it only as just a [sic] "bunch of murderers, I guess." hence why he doesnt seem to take anything surrounding the org too seriously.